Deliberate Influence

I walked into the room, sat down at the table, and realized quickly that I was the youngest one there.  I wasn’t really young…thirty-six to be exact, but I was decades younger than anyone else.

I had signed up to attend our church’s weekly ladies Bible study.  We were new to the town, (although we had lived there during college) and I thought Bible study would be a great chance to make some new friends.

I glanced around; the room was filled with circular tables.  Each table could seat eight women — most held a variety of age groups. Mine did not.

Most had at least one or two women my age. Mine did not.

I took a deep breath and tried to figure out what to do.  I didn’t want to be rude, but I was disappointed. I felt like I was getting short-changed.  Instead of meeting some new people I was stuck with some obviously nice ladies who were from another generation.

I had a decision to make.  Should I stay or should I ask to be moved to a different group?

Thankfully, I decided to stay.  Even then, I recognized that sometimes God allowed us to be in unexpected places for a purpose.  I remember praying and saying, “I don’t get this but I trust You.  I’ll stay if this is where You have put me.”

That was over fifteen years ago and the arrogance of my desire to leave that day still embarrasses me.  Had I left, I would have missed a great blessing. God did have a purpose…I just didn’t know it yet.

We were coming out of our “Great Depression” (that time in our life when both my husband and I were clinically depressed). I was lonely, hurt, and angry, and carried a boatload of rejection from some who had been close to us at our former church.

That table of ladies immediately recognized my pain and adopted me as their daughter. I think they knew that I didn’t really want to be there, but they loved me anyway.  They prayed for me, mothered me, and rebuilt my trust. It was as if they were determined to make a difference in my life. Their encouragement and affection was like a refreshing shower to my parched spirit.  It offered me a safe place to heal.

Last month I attended the funeral of one of my Bible study friends — they are almost all gone now.  Once again, the good-bye was hard, but the celebration was sweet.  I was not surprised when the minister used the theme of “deliberate influence” as he spoke these final words. “Betty made a decision as a young wife with three small kids, that she wanted her home and her life to be open to influence those around her…she did it well.”

Yes, she did.  I thought.  Yes, THEY ALL did.

That funeral was a celebration of a life well lived, a steady hope in Christ Jesus, and a determined consistency of influence.

Looking back I am so grateful that I didn’t leave that group to find one with friends my age.  I simply can’t imagine my life without the friendship of those precious ladies.

I was blessed!

Sadly, I have no photos of me with my bible-study-influencers. However, I still have influencers…people that have chosen to impact me greatly.  Here are a few:

This is Lou, she is too young to have been part of that original group, but she has loved me most of my life and continues to influence me.

Carl and Gloria are a constant encouragement. I’ve known them only a year, yet their story and spirit have made an impact.

Meet Dr. Tom. My professor in college, around our community he is known as a “Sr. Encourager.”

QUESTION: Has there been someone in your life who deliberately influenced you even when you weren’t sure you wanted it?  Share with us.  (And if they are still on earth, thank them this week for their influence on your life.)

ASK YOURSELF: Who are you choosing to deliberately influence?