Teach Me

I like my pastor (actually, I like ALL my pastors — I attend a large church and we have a bunch of them).

I knew I liked him the first night he met with the congregation. A storyteller, he used illustrations freely and connected with the crowd through laughter. (I’m a storyteller too, so I totally related to his communication style.)

I have had other pastors who I didn’t connect with so easily, a few I’ve struggled to listen to and at least one that I did not connect with at all.

It happens. Just like families, churches are filled with people who aren’t always on the same page. We sometimes disagree on all kinds of things…social issues, politics, communication style, church mission, etc. My daddy would say that as long as we agreed on the essential stuff the rest wasn’t that important (the essentials being salvation, holiness, the resurrection, and grace).

When I was young I didn’t understand that it was okay to not see eye-to-eye on everything. I especially did not understand that it could happen with my pastor.

One day, sitting under the ministry of someone I had issues with, I found myself praying, “God, can you just have him move away?”

Instead, God began to convict me. I didn’t hear an audible voice, but the conversation sounded like this:

God: Have you prayed for him today?

Claudine: No.

God: Pray for him.

Claudine: Why should I pray for him, I don’t even like him.

God: Have you talked about him to anyone today?

Claudine: Well…(I tried to stall) maybe…

God: Have you prayed for him today?

Claudine: Hmmmm…no.

God: Pray for him.

Claudine: Really?

God: Until you’ve prayed for him more than you’ve talked about him, shut up. (And yes, God told me to shut up.)

Claudine: (Sigh)

God: (Smile)

So I tried. I really did. But I soon discovered that it was hard to pray for him because there were so few things I liked about him. It was easy to pray that he’d become the leader I wanted him to be or do the things I thought were important. It was harder to pray for him to be the man God wanted him to be. How am I even supposed to know what God wants for him?

“God, you will have to teach me how to do this. I don’t know how to pray for him.” I whispered out loud.

“Just get started,” He whispered back. “I’ll show you.”

Over the next few weeks God began to direct my prayers…and surprisingly they weren’t for my pastor. In fact, He started by teaching me to pray for my attitude toward the man.

• Pray for your heart to be softened towards him.
• Pray to see him through My eyes.
• Ask Me to show you why he bothers you so much.
• Pray to be able to lay down the need to be right.

I didn’t really like what I was learning. It was tough. Did a successful relationship with this person who seemed to bug me so much REALLY have to start with me and my heart?

Yes it did! (Ouch!)

I grew up a lot during those early days of prayer. Eventually, I did began to feel directed in how to pray for him.

• Pray for his sermons to be filled with My Word.
• Pray for him to feel a new anointing of My presence.
• Pray for the congregation to begin to affirm him including you (I wanted him to leave, so this one was especially hard).
• Pray for his children and future grandchildren. Pray they come to an early knowledge of Me.
• Pray for protection from the enemy and that no weapon formed against him will prosper.
• Pray for wisdom and that he will listen to Me and hear My voice the loudest.
• Pray for mentors to walk alongside him and minister to him
• Pray for others in the congregation to feel called to pray for him.

Surprisingly, there was never any leading to pray for him to affirm me or approve the ideas that I thought he had ignored. God simply did not direct me that way.

It was hard work, this learning how to pray for someone I felt never listened to me. But it was good work. I discovered that my heart towards him had to be changed first. It was impossible to hear God’s desires for the man when my own were in such conflict.

I wish I could say that after those prayers we got along better…we never did. Yet in laying my needs down, I opened a door to understanding how to pray for his needs. I found that I no longer needed to talk about him to anyone and felt guilty on the rare occasions when I did. (I was only seeking confirmation that I was right anyway.)

Through my prayers, I was allowed to see his hurts and challenges. He had become human to me. He was a man wounded and a bit worn, trying too hard to please too many.

These days, when I think about praying for my pastor, I don’t struggle with the how-to. All I have to do is remember God’s leading all those years ago and know that He will lead me the same way today.

“God, teach me to pray for my pastor…”